Look for the Lesson

What do you know is true about trust?

Trust is built in the moments that cost someone something, not in the moments that cost them nothing.

How do you know that is true?

A friend drove two hours to pick me up when my car died outside Cedar Falls, on a night she had an early flight the next morning. She never mentioned the flight. I found out a week later from someone else.

What was the moment when the lesson became clear to you?

It was when I learned about the flight. Up to then I'd have said she was a reliable person. In that moment I understood that reliability and trust aren't the same thing. She'd absorbed a real cost and then made sure I never had to hold it.

How does this lesson serve you?

It changed who I call. It also changed how I show up for other people: I try to say yes before I've worked out what it will cost me, and I try not to bill anyone for it afterwards.